hey whats up

25 / non-binary / queer / autistic / more than the sum of my parts

Apr 23
shulabear:
“ theotherguysride:
“ stephendann:
“ fattyatomicmutant:
“ space-australians:
“ the-real-seebs:
“ madddscience:
“ An interesting sci-fi short story from 4chan.
[Imgur]
”
That is some fine writing.
”
The Imgur link is broken so:
[Series of...

shulabear:

theotherguysride:

stephendann:

fattyatomicmutant:

space-australians:

the-real-seebs:

madddscience:

An interesting sci-fi short story from 4chan.

[Imgur]

That is some fine writing.

The Imgur link is broken so:

[Series of posts on 09/16/11]

About twelve years ago, a man died in high orbit over Tau Ceti V.

His name was Drake McDougal, and aside from a few snapshots and vague anecdotes from his drinking buddies, that’s probably all we’ll ever know about him. Another colony-born man with little records and little documentation, working whatever asteroid field the Dracs deigned to allow them. Every now and then a Drac gunship would strut on through the system, Pax Draconia and all that. But that was it.

One fine day, one of those gunships had a misjump. A bad one. It arrived only ninety clicks above atmo, with all its impellers blown out by the gravatic feedback of Tau Ceti V’s gravity well. The Dracs scraped enough power together for a good system-wide broadbeam and were already beginning the Death Chant when they hit atmo.

People laughed at the recording of sixty Dracs going from mysterious chanting to “’what-the-fuck’ing” for years after they forgot the name Drake McDougal. The deafening “CLANG” and split second of stunned silence afterwards never failed to entertain. Drake had performed a hasty re-entry seconds after the gunship and partially slagged his heatshield diving after it. Experts later calculated he suffered 11Gs when he leaned on the retro to match velocities with the Dracs long enough to engage the mag-grapples on his little mining tug.

Even the massively overpowered drive of a tug has its limits, and Drake’s little ship hit hers about one and a half minutes later. Pushed too far, the tug’s fusion plant lost containment just as he finished slingshotting the gunship into low orbit. (It was unharmed, of course; the Drac opinion of fusion power best translated as “quaint,” kind of how we view butter churns.)

It was on the local news within hours, on newsnets across human space within days. It was discussed, memorialized, marveled upon, chewed over by daytime talk-show hosts, and I think somebody even bought a plaque or some shit like that. Then there was a freighter accident, and a mass-shooting on Orbital 5, and of course, the first Vandal attacks in the periphery.

The galaxy moved on.

Twelve years is a long time, especially during war, so twelve years later, as the Vandal’s main fleet was jumping in near Jupiter and we were strapping into the crash couches of what wee enthusiastically called “warships,” I guaran-fucking-tee you not one man in the entire Defense Force could remember who Drake McDougal was.

Well, the Dracs sure as hell did.

Dracs do not fuck around. Dozens of two-kilometer long Drac supercaps jumped in barely 90K klicks away, and then we just stood around staring at our displays like the slack-jawed apes we were as we watched what a real can of galactic whoop-ass looked like. You could actually see the atmosphere of Jupiter roil occasionally when a Vandal ship happened to cross between it and the Drac fleet. There’s still lightning storms on Jupiter now, something about residual heavy ions and massive static charges or something.

Fifty-eight hours later, with every Vandal ship reduced to slagged debris and nine wounded Drac ships spinning about as they vented atmosphere, they started with the broad-band chanting again. And then the communiqué that confused the hell out of us all.

“Do you hold out debt fulfilled?”

After the sixth or seventh comms officer told them “we don’t know what the hell you’re talking about” as politely as possible, the Drac fleet commander got on the horn and asked to speak to a human Admiral in roughly the same tone as a telemarketer telling a kid to give the phone to Daddy. When the Admiral didn’t know either, the Drac went silent for a minute, and when he came back on his translator was using much smaller words, and talking slower.

“Is our blood debt to Drake McDougal’s clan now satisfied?”

The Admiral said “Who?”

What the Drac commander said next would’ve caused a major diplomatic incident had he remembered to revert to the more complex translation protocols. He thought the Admiral must be an idiot, a coward, or both. Eventually, the diplomats were called out, and we were asked why the human race has largely forgotten the sacrifice of Drake McDougal.

Humans, we explained, sacrifice themselves all the time.

We trotted out every news clip from the space-wide Nets from the last twelve years. Some freighter cook that fell on a grenade during a pirate raid on Outreach. A ship engineer who locked himself into the reactor room and kept containment until the crew evacuated. Firefighter who died shielding a child from falling debris with his body, during an earthquake. Stuff like that.

That Dracs were utterly stunned. Their diplomats wandered out of the conference room in a daze. We’d just told them that the rarest, most selfless and honorable of acts - acts that incurred generations-long blood-debts and moved entire fleets - was so routine for our species that they were bumped off the news by the latest celebrity scandal.

Everything changed for humanity after that. And it was all thanks to a single tug pilot who taught the galaxy what truly defines Man.

This makes me cry

It had been so many cycles since the Drac incident, and even more since the Drake McDougal event, and the the galaxy had sort of come to the conclusion that humans were, well, human about things, and that they regarded their lives in completely incomprehensible ways.

Yet for all of the witnessed sacrifices, few warriors had ever been taught to recognise the most terrifying of human deeds. In a forgettable corner of the galaxy, in an unremarked planet with a previously less than recorded history, a party of six human security escorts bringing their rescued survivors to a hive ship became a party of five, 

A lone human, holding one of their handheld ‘melee’ weapons wordlessly tilted their head to their commander, and stopped, standing in plain sight in the middle of a field. 

Waiting.

When asked, the lower ranked humans simply said “She knows what’s she’s doing”.  The human captain’s inexplicable statement “She’s buying us some time” made it as if their companion had stepped into some form of marketplace. 

Katherine of Rescue Group’s fate was never confirmed, but no pursuit came that night. On the next dawn, when the hive ship was able to leave, the humans insisted we departed immediately, and did not go back for their companion.

We do not know for sure what became of Katherine of Rescue Group. All we know is that when pressed, the human captain explained to our own that the one who stayed had communicated an ancient human tradition, the rite of self sacrifice.  In words, the captain explained, the look and the nod would mean “Go on. I’ll hold them off.  It was not, as we thought, that this one warrior had sought victory over many enemies, but that they had calculated a trade off of the minutes or hours it could take to defeat a human, against the time needed by their companions.

Humans, as humans say, do not go gentle into that good night.  

Worse, they do not go gentle into bad nights, worse days, or terrifying sunsets. Dawn seems to fill them with potency and rage, as if to call upon the solar gods and tell the deities to come down here and say that to their human faces. We do not know how long she bought us, but we, the hive now called K’thrn, understand what it means to have someone expend their existence for the survival of others.

We find it terrifying.

I love this one. Reblogging for something new. 

Humans had been part of the intergalactic alliance now for longer than most could remember. New member systems were typically bemused by the Dracs semi-reverence of these fragile, hairless beings, and the Hives’ blend of respect and fear. 

Until the moment when their ambassadors were shown The Film. 

That’s all it was called, because the contents weren’t comprehensible.

Over time, the Vandals had reorganized and rebuilt; they’d formed alliances, created new weapons technologies, and were completely ready to take on the Drac galactic navy.

They were utterly unprepared for the humans. 

The command ship of the Vandal fleet was unassailable. Ion weapons were turned aside, the most powerful laser arrays were useless. Physical projectiles did work, but the mass of even a missile next to the ship was insignificant.

When the human destroyer Athena began to accelerate towards it, all shields to front, full power to thrusters, the Dracs made contact immediately, demanding to know what they intended to do.

The comm channel came back with a medley of humans singing, chanting, praying, and the captain simply said, “Ending this damn war.”

And disconnected.

The Drac central command watched the remote readouts of the human ship as it soared past the Vandal fighter vanguard. The Athena wasn’t firing, and the Vandal command didn’t have a protocol to deal with this, so they directed no resources towards the destroyer.

The reactor on board the destroyer began to systematically overload. Command patched through directly to the engineering room, and were met with the chief engineer saying with a smile, “No time to explain, I’ve got to say my last words to my creator.”

And he disconnected.

The Athena was traveling at an unsafe speed when it collided with the Vandal command ship, tearing through the armor.

When the Athena’s reactors then went critical and destroyed the entire Vandal command, the human admiral aboard the Drac command vessel bowed his head and said, “May their memories be a blessing,” and proceeded to help plan the final assault on the remaining, disorganized Vandal fleet. The remaining human ships were heard chanting “For the Athena!” as they went into battle with little regard for their own safety, and less for the Vandals.

Ambassadors were always pale by the end of The Film, but none of them questioned humanity’s place in the alliance again.

(via ruffboijuliaburnsides)


sonicheritageposts:

dajo42:

dajo42:

a 500 word short story with the same plot as your novel that explores how quickly the problem could be solved by sonic the hedgehog

image

knuckles gamgee

sonic heritage post

(via leagueofaveragefolk)



tiktoksformyfriends:

[video by tommcgovern27. original caption: this one’s going out to anyone living in a studio apartment rn]

(via ruffboijuliaburnsides)


rabm:

me with my brain full of microplastics battling my grandpa with his brain full of lead

image

(via carrionlarry)


inklesspen:

i paid ten earth human dollars to put my pitch for an Animorphs Broadway musical on unsuspecting tumblr users’ dashes, and this is what I got in response:

  • Why is this such a long fucking ad??
  • THIS IS MY AD LMAOOO I love this for you I’ve never even read the books but I read all of this
  • this is pog actually
  • Someone had “animorphs stans” on their DNI. Is there something going on? I can’t think of where to ask.
  • you should be punished for making me look at this

Tumblr Blaze also includes psychic combat! I got one reblog who thought a sponsored post would be a great place to yell about the pedophiles they think are stalking them via the trending topics sidebar on twitter??????? That was a real quick addition to the block list.

Overall, I got more than ten dollars worth of amusement out of it, so there you go.

(via curlicuecal)


Apr 22

adventures-in-poor-planning:

bedupolker:

Outside

op this is good commentary but I’m mostly just captivated by how you drew the kid as a teeny little grub with a propeller hat

(via ruffboijuliaburnsides)


manyblinkinglights:

grimdarkauxiliatrix:

grimdarkauxiliatrix:

tragic we never got to see rose in a black romance. she’d be deranged it would be wonderful

image

actually now that i’m thinking about it this would be insane. rose waxes black for vriska on the meteor after hearing kanaya talk about vriska snubbing her for a red solicitation with tavros (as well as pretty much everything else vriska did), vriska finds rose Unbearable because kanaya admires her so much, in a way kanaya never admired vriska (even though she didn’t even really want that from kanaya). rose and vriska can’t maintain a conversation without wanting to tear each other to shreds. kanaya has long since gotten over vriska and thoroughly enjoys the way rose takes down vriska. dave makes fun of rose for engaging in the quadrants. karkat interrupts with a lecture on why it’s good, actually. vriska and rose’s arguments are a minimum of 2 hours long, 17 dead 41 injured

This would be so fucking dysfunctional because I think both Rose and Vriska would each think they were winning, and, by their metrics, WOULD be winning (including “destruction caused/harm done”) but then they would also have this deep-seated and very true feeling that their attacks were also totally failing to land on their opponent. They’re like invulnerable to being dissuaded by each others’ primary attack styles, while still taking SOME harm?

I think they’d wind up in huge fights where each of them thinks they’re winning, each of them would think the other one was too stupid to properly understand how thoroughly they were getting owned, each of them would go wild on the liquor of “my opponent couldn’t even perceive that barb! THIS MEANS ITS DAMAGE HIT FOR DOUBLE,” while brutally annoying and exhausting each other but likely causing extreme amounts of murder to happen to everyone else.

I think Karkat would be permissive, yeah. Equius would nag Gamzee out of extreme frustration with how a human and a petty highblood were having this massive catastrophic blackrom that makes everyone higher than Vriska seem bland and tame.

I like kismesis pairs that are fundamentally invulnerable to each other yet find each other WILDLY HATEFUL so I think these guys’d have some durable potential, but it’d be very Alternian mainstream potential. The tiresome ordinary het romance type of kismesissitude. Like yeah 17 dead 41 injured and constantly inconveniencing everyone around them… that’s like gender reveal party strikes 100-acre fire type stuff by Alternian standards I think. Nicholas Sparks stuff. Same like Jack and the Black Queen.


everlastingrandom:

the funniest thing is that I’ve never directly seen a blazed post since this all started. it’s just been screenshots of the blazed posts or reblogs from mutuals. people are out here paying cold hard cash and y'all are spreading them completely indirectly completely free, like we’ve always done. net zero gain I love it

(via mens-rights-activia)


mrspider:

mrspider:

mrspider:

mrspider:

i feel like elon musks’ company being named after tesla, an inventor and humanitarian whos ideas were stolen and accredited to a man (edison) who was notorious for stealing ideas and being a shitty capitalist who purposefully made it so more people would be without resources so he could be richer, is a bit backwards but shows the universe does at least have a sense of humor when it makes the evil guys

btw still going to die mad and be mad forever that tesla wanted to make electricity free and designed the means to do so bc he thought it was a human right to be part of technologic advance and edison was basically like “lol no” bc he couldnt make money off it. i would literally dig edison up again to piss on his corpse if i could

image

intense burning rage and violence for what they did to this man

image

the answer here is to do to elon what we could not do to edison

(via mens-rights-activia)


zedvancement:

transgenderrari-moved:

dragonprincessmew:

Pokemon headcanon that once Absol are studied and people realize they prevent disasters instead of causing them, particularly dangerous workplaces get themselves a workplace Absol and it also decreases accidents.

Construction sites and fishing ships and factories will have one that pretty much just lazes about until it just gets up howling one day and knocks a dude down. They almost never figure out what would have happened but they’re always like “yes absol thank you absol I am so grateful to be on the floor right now. Can I offer you a treat in this trying time”

image

[ID: Absol wearing an orange hard hat and a badge that reads “30 hour OSHA trainer”. End ID]

(via leagueofaveragefolk)


feuer-bluete asked:

What do you mean you hatched an egg you bought at the SUPER MARKET

codenamewhatever:

merosmenagerie:

Ohohoho

So there’s this company in the UK, right. They brand themselves on producing fancy free range eggs and as part of that they have breed information written on the carton.

I did some snooping and found that every miracle news story of a supermarket egg hatching in the UK traced back to duck eggs, specifically the Braddock White duck eggs produced by this one company for the supermarket Waitrose.

And one day my mum brings them home and says “I bought these to eat but aren’t they the ones that hatch?”

And it’s spring and I’m hatching a ton this year so in they went.

On candling we had three fertile eggs! That’s a fertility of 50% - the same as shipped eggs from a breeder!

Hatch day comes and we get 2 ducklings, Curie and Becquerel. Sadly, Curie contracts duck septicaemia from an infected navel and doesn’t make it, but Becquerel is a healthy bird and growing like a weed.

I had put 4 breeder eggs in a week after them in case just one hatched, so Becque now has two Khaki Campbell cross friends called Tsuki and Hoshi so she isn’t lonely.

And as of today’s 7am Quacking - Becque is a female! Which means she’s capable of laying eggs and therefore I have pirated a duck.

image
image
image
image
image
image
image
image


image

@pangur-and-grim


Apr 21

dgalerab:

also i think it’s funny how tumblr was like “you can pay to see someone’s posts” and we were all like FUCK you and they were like “… pay to… inflict your own posts… on others?” and we were like

(via egberts)


roach-works:

cyle:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

While the merits of using Tumblr Blaze specifically to annoy people can be debated, it’s worth noting that the minimum buy-in to sponsor a post is ten dollars. Having ten dollars of disposable income and a willingness to spend it on something incredibly stupid that brings you joy is not a moral failing – I’m willing to bet that most people reading this post have spent ten bucks on something considerably dumber than sponsoring a shitpost.

Also, while concerns that Tumblr Blaze will simply be co-opted as another avenue for corporate advertising are well founded, it’s structured in a way that appears to be calculated to render it unappealing to large advertisers:

1. There’s no guaranteed number of unique impressions (all impression counts are “approximate”);

2. It can’t be precisely scheduled (your sponsored post goes live whenever the moderators get around to approving it);

3. It can’t be demographically targeted (the Tumblr users your sponsored post is shown to are chosen entirely at random); and

4. Sponsored posts cannot be flagged as non-rebloggable (i.e., so anyone, anywhere can reblog your sponsored post with awful shit attached, and that might be the version that trends).

And, like, it’s not that Tumblr can’t address any of these issues. They have an existing paid advertising service that already does.

In other words, it seems to be the case that Tumblr Blaze is cheap because it sucks on purpose.

“sucks” or actually is it perfect for its intended audience

you know that post about how sometimes you have to put hamburger in a pumpkin and roll it around your enclosure? tumblr blaze is an advertising service, it’s an enrichment activity.

(via repost-this-image)


jakegyllenhals:

ROBERT PATTINSON as BATMAN: 

image

(via knafeh-zarafa)


Page 1 of 4997